Marriage, Second Time Around
by ArmyWife2009
Summary: It has been three years since Lindsay and Dean divorced. Now, she has met a wonderful man named Derek. Will she be able to put aside the past in order to have another chance at love? In Lindsay pov.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.**

**This story is dedicated to SassyCassie08.**

**Marriage, Second Round**

His name is Derek Harper and he is a wonderful man. Although there is something that is making me nervous. He wants to marry me. Every girls dream, right? Well, it use to be mine. Before my first marriage. What is even more horrible is the fact that my first marriage broke up only six months after it began. My ex-husband cheated on me with his old high school girlfriend who came home for the weekend from college.

Yes, I know what you are probably thinking. How old was I when this happened? 19. I fell hard for Dean Forester when I was 17 years old, but I didn't persue him because he was dating Rory. Then when I was 18 he noticed me and we started hanging out. I thought our friendship became a true, deep, lasting love. When he asked me to be his wife, I was thrilled and said yes without hesitation.

Even though we were young to be marrying, my parents were so supportive. Not like other parents who would have denied helping us out due to our age, my parents were over all the time helping and trying to show us that being married is much more than just playing house.

Now, as I think back they probably were over a little too much. They were just trying to help us out. Dean had no reason to do to me what he did. Yet, he did and now I'm living with the aftermath. I'm trying hard not to take it out on Derek, but it is very hard to do. I don't know if I will be able to trust again.

As soon as the divorce was final I waited out the lease on the town house and I moved out, across town to a one room apartment. It was small, but it was good enough for me. I was grieving. I didn't want any space. I donated everything that we bought together or used together to the Good Will. It was better then looking at the things we shared and remembered what I thought were marital blissful moments.

Then I met Derek. He was tall, but not too tall. Just a foot taller then me. He had light blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. He is always clean shaven and he has strong arms. I really do like it when he holds me, but I'm scared. I'm scared that if I do allow him to marry me then my life will be ripped upside down. I can't go through another divorce. The last one nearly killed me.

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_I was folding laundry and putting it away in the chest of drawers that I have had since I was a little girl. Dean's jacket that he had worn the night before was sprawled upon the floor. I picked it up to put it away when I heard a soft thud. I turned and looked, seeing an envelope with Dean's name written on it in pretty handwriting. I picked it up and noticed that it was open. I took the pages out and read the words that had been so lovingly picked out._

_Dear Dean,_

_I want you to know before I write out all of this that I love you. I have always loved you. I was horrible to you before and I know that. I'm so truly sorry about everything that I did. I regret going with Jess instead of staying with you, the man I should have been with. I wish I could be the woman that you were married to instead of Lindsay. I would have been a better wife to you then she ever could be. I never would have forced you to waste your life working away at two or even three jobs just for needless things that you just don't need right now. I am so sorry that Lindsay is so demanding and that she has taken away your very soul and your dreams. If I could I would give them all back to you._

_The only thing I am glad about is that I got to have my first time with you. It was the most amazing and magical experience of my life. I know that when we made love and all the times afterwards that we were truly making love to one another. I am just afraid that Lindsay will find out. No matter how horrible she is being to you, she doesn't deserve to not have all of our love. I think that you and I need to stop seeing each other. You are married, Dean. As much as I want to be yours and to have you as my husband, you are still married to Lindsay. That is where you should be, with your wife._

_Thank you for understanding and for showing me what true love is. I will always love you._

_Yours forever,_

_Rory_

_I sat down heavily upon the bed that Dean and I shared, my heart pounding painfully within my chest. He. . . he was cheating. On me. The bitter, hot tears poured down my face as if a dam had I heard the front door downstairs open and Dean's voice calling for me. I just sat upon the bed waiting for him. He came up the stairs, looking for me. He entered our bedroom with a smile, which quickly faded when he saw my face._

_"Lindsay, what's wrong?" He asked me, coming over to me quickly. I shoved him away and shook my head. I held out the letter._

_"What's wrong? What's WRONG? Dean you have been CHEATING on my with RORY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I screamed. I watched as his face became pale._

_"Lindsay, let me explain," he began. I shook my head and threw a pillow from our bed at him._

_"No don't explain it to me. She already did in this letter. How long have you been having sex with her Dean? How long? Is that what you did at your bachelor party? How long after our wedding day? Hmmm?" I asked, glaring at him._

_"It's been . . . three months. But it's over Lindsay. I'm sorry. We just didn't get any closure. . ."_

_"WHAT?! CLOSURE? YOU WERE BROKEN UP WITH HER FOR HALF A YEAR WHEN YOU STARTED DATING ME YOU JACKASS!" I bellowed. All I could see was red. My heart was pounding, no longer painfully but angrily. I grabbed his most prized possession - a teddy bear. He said that it was from his childhood, but now I doubted that._

_"Lindsay! What the hell are you doing?" Dean yelled at me, trying to get to me before I threw it out the window._

_"Throwing you out! Get out of my house, Dean Forester!" I screamed._

_"It's our house, Lindsay!" Dean yelled back._

_"Not after you had SEX WITH HER!" I screamed as I gathered more of his things and began throwing them out of the window. I threw everything that I could get my hands on. I dodged him and continued to toss things out of the second story window._

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I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to get rid of the memories that seemed stuck in my mind. I had spent three years getting over what Dean had done with Rory. I had to go through a very ugly and public divorce. In the end I left Stars Hallow completely, too ashamed to stay in that small town where I saw Dean daily and that awful woman he called his girlfriend shortly after our divorce was finalized.

How could I marry again? I hadn't told Derek yet. He had no idea what had happened to me before. I have just been so ashamed by all of this. I don't know what to do right now.


End file.
